For a long time, I believed that birthday parties were for children under the age of 12 and if adults celebrated birthdays, it was for a special occasion or if they were celebrities.

This notion was completely overturned when I first came to live in Holland in 1996.

In the Netherlands, it's quite common to have friends and family over on one's birthday, whether one is in his 20s or in his 90s.

The humble Dutch, though, keep it quite simple: Just a cake with some coffee or tea, and if the guests stay after 5 p.m., a glass of wine with some snacks.

The guests also keep it simple. Presents are often a bottle of wine, a book or some other small thing, often presented with a big story of why each was selected.

Going to such an adult birthday party is fun and a good way to find out about the Dutch.

One funny habit, for example, is that the guests congratulate all the other people present.

Thus, they not only say "congratulations" to the birthday person but they also say "congratulations on your father's birthday" to his son, "congratulation's on your brother's birthday" to his brother and even "congratulations on your neighbor's birthday" to his neighbor. At a big party, this gets pretty tiring.

But since many of the invitees are often the same people and a year is quite short, at some parties it feels like deja vu, with the same people often seated in the same position and sharing the same snacks every year — the birthday boy's mother sitting on the kitchen side of the table, his brother and his wife next to her, then his younger brother and his girlfriend, then his two close friends and three neighbors.

Only by noticing that the children have grown up makes me realize that it is indeed a new birthday.

It is important though to know that birthdays are important to the Dutch.

In every toilet of a Dutch household hangs a birthday calendar on which family and friends' birthdays are noted so that they can be sent a card or called.

I was always puzzled at why everybody calls on the same day risking not being able to get through. But apparently, to be seen busily accepting many congratulatory calls on one's birthday is a sort of status symbol here. So if you know a Dutch person, do call on his birthday!

Of course, there are also shy Dutch people who never celebrate their birthdays. And even those who celebrate each year may halt it suddenly when they think there's nothing to celebrate — like on a year during which they lost their job or ended a relationship.

If one's birthday falls on a normal working day, he must treat colleagues to a piece of cake. Children also bring a treat for their classmates but often something like a mandarin orange or a piece of cheese because the teachers ask to keep it healthy.

My husband and I don't usually celebrate our birthdays because we find it embarrassing to do so at our age. But this year, it was different.

On my husband's birthday in February, I organized a surprise party because as a party-lover, I suspected he would enjoy it. His stunned look as he was received by dozens of friends and family on his return from a business trip was quite amusing.

On mine in April, I had dim sum for lunch then went to a Moroccan bath with eight girlfriends. Then in the evening, my husband took me to one of Holland's rare Michelin two-star restaurants — not a bad day at all!