The built-in kitchen, — or "system kitchen" as they are called Japan — was developed in Germany based on the concept "as simple as possible." The kitchens use only equipment that is needed and are made to fit in a limited space in order to maximize convenience and efficiency. Through innovative and functional German design, the kitchen has become a triumph of 20th century practicality.

However, the classic kitchen rapidly became old-fashioned. In the former East Germany, it was almost a duty for women to work "for society." All women enjoyed equal rights while in the rest of the world, the kitchen remained a female domain.

In prewar Japan three generations would often live together, and usually the mother and her mother-in-law would cook three meals a day together. However, those times are now almost over.

In order to save time for household work, the modern kitchen was ironically not designed primarily for cooking. As women have become more independent, the old Japanese family structure has eroded and a new lifestyle with the German built-in kitchen has been introduced, but the mentality of Japanese women remains as a remnant of a bygone era.

When Japanese women reach an age at which they can get married, many take the path of settling down and having children. If not, they often end up pressured by their parents and environment to wed before they miss the bus. Therefore, for many young Japanese women the primary aim is to get married, not to fall in love with the right person.

In Germany, if you are not in a relationship, you obviously look for a partner, but marriage is just one aspect of the reason to look for love, and enjoying the relationship is a much higher priority for Germans.

People in Germany only get married if they share the same outlook on life, and often take years before they decide to get married. Marriage is no longer considered essential in Germany.

Germans have many options open to them other than marriage. Some decide not to have children, some decide never to get married, and also there are an increasing number of unmarried couples who decide to live together and have children.

I wondered why when I first arrived in Germany, but living in the country I now think "Why not?" I have come to believe that relationships can last as long as couples feel happy with each other, without any bureaucratic procedures. If a couple are not happy in their relationship, even after getting married, who needs such a relationship? Regarding marriage and relationships, I feel a lot more liberated since I moved to this country.

But most Japanese do not seem to be aware of this modern style of romance. Even living together before getting married has a special word, dousei, which does not always have positive connotations in Japan. But the reason why I feel comfortable in Germany is not just because of this modern style of dating, but because people respect each other's decision and style — in other words, they do not interfere with what other people choose to do. This social freedom shocked me.

Another reason why the number of unmarried couples has increased in Germany is the complicated procedures couples have to go through to get divorced. In Germany, getting divorced is not as easy as it is in Japan. It takes a lot of time and money.

Maybe the German concept of relationships comes from the same basic set of premises as the built-in kitchen. In order to avoid too much work, the kitchen became more compact and simple. In order to save the time needed to get divorced, couples stopped getting married.