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Saturday, Jan. 8, 2005


Fine-feathered flock of phrases flavors Year of the Chicken

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? This year, the chicken came first since 2005 is the year of the chicken, not the year of the egg. After the disastrous year of the monkey, I think we're all hoping for a few golden eggs this year. So, out with the monkey bananas and in with the chicken feed. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

What's in store for this year? Will the new year bring some golden eggs or just chicken scratch? One would think 2005 would have to be better than last year, but don't count your chickens before they've hatched. Be more of a mother hen and do some preparation. It's a good year to immunize children from chicken pox, get plenty of exercise practicing the chicken dance, and to eat lots of chicken soup (it's good for the soul). If you're not prepared, feathers will fly and the chickens may come home to roost. Baaak-bak-bak!

In epicurean terms, it's the year of the yakitori. Fill up on grilled chicken and other poultry dishes such as chicken casseroles, roast chicken, and baked chicken. Of course, don't put all your eggs in one basket. The menu can include frogs, rabbit, and deer since they taste like chicken. Baaak-bak-bak!

While no one likes to be labeled a "chicken!" upon closer inspection, being a chicken could make you famous. Let's look at some of the famous chickens in the world.

First in the pecking order comes the chicken closest to our hearts: Foghorn Leghorn (1946-1963). This Warner Bros. Cartoon character humored us with his big feet and big mouth with such famous exclamations as "Well, barbecue my hammocks!"

A giant rooster who attended Chicken Tech, this cocky fellow readily dispensed advice to anyone who'd listen. Foghorn Leghorn's mathematics skills, mixed with atrocious English grammar, resulted in preachings such as: "When two halves is gone, there's nuthin left. Two nothings is nuthin. That's mathematics son. You can argue with me but you can't argue with figures. Two half nothings is a whole nuthin."

In this day and age, Foghorn Leghorn is no spring chicken, but he still humors us on reruns of Warner Bother's cartoons aired around the world.

Then of course, we all know the story of Chicken Little. When this baby chick is hit on the head by a falling acorn, he rushes to Henny Penny exclaiming, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" They rush off to tell the king, but unfortunately before they get there, they are turned into chicken nuggets by a clever fox who distracts them. How fowl!

And there is no more famous a chicken than the rubber chicken. We've all seen him: plucked clean, ready to be butchered. Although no one really knows the purpose of the rubber chicken, they are nonetheless a very popular breed. I suggest we eat them. Hey, if the Japanese can eat raw chicken, we can surely eat rubber chicken with lots of wasabi.

Or maybe, just maybe, the rubber chicken is the chicken that crossed the road, but never made it to the other side. Baaak-bak-bak!

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