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Saturday, Sept. 8, 2001

JAPAN LITE

Make mine the tow roll floor tortillas


It's time for another column about funny English! This time I bring you an honest-to-goodness menu from a restaurant called Skegs, which specializes in Mexican food. Following the menu items I have inserted explanations.

Wel Come to Skegs! Appataizers Ships and salsa

If you've never eaten a ship with your Mexican salsa, you've really been missing out! Choose from our array of ships: cargo, tanker or cruise liner. Served with salsa.

Nacos Suprime Crispy corn fotilas chip, metted chisse, fresh salsa, repried bean, and spring onion

Meaning: We are the only restaurant that can fit so many ingredients onto one chip! We promise that our cook will personally pry open each bean with a crowbar before cooking and then repry each one for good measure. Served with cheese that has been met several times in the past, salsa and one onion.

Goa Comole Bad of lettuce, crispy corn ship toped with meat avacado Corn ship and salsa sauce

Meaning: "Goa Comole" is our guacamole cheer! Try our famous guacamole served on the worst lettuce in Asia. You'll get that single corn chip covered with "meat avacado" from our exclusive avocado-colored cows! All this is brought to you on a corn ship, still crispy, even after having crossed the seas from Mexico. After eating this dish, including the ship, you'll be shouting: "Goa Comole! Goa Comole!"

Taco Tow fried corn chip, bad of lettuce, meat seson, toped chisse with mexican rice into bean

Meaning: That single fried corn chip missed the corn ship from Mexico, so we've had it specially towed in! While waiting for the tow truck to arrive, our cook painstakingly stuffs meat, cheese and rice into each bean. Served on our famous bad lettuce.

Encilada Tow roll floor tortillas in side meat season toped chisse served with mexican rice and pinto bean

This enchilada is rolled on the floor and towed to your table. It includes side meat, (not front or back meat) and is served topped with cheese, rice and a single bean.

Combination Flater The combination of encilada and taco served with pinto bean and mexican rice

Meaning: This combination platter is so big, it's guaranteed to inflate you to enormous proportions. After you fill up with our taco and Mexican rice, eat that magic pinto bean and you'll feel yourself lift up out of our restaurant and in no time, you'll be off to Mexico! Goa Comole!

Chilly corn carne Stowed red bean with rich meat served with tow flour tortillas

Meaning: New -- cold corn meat! Through the cloning of corn and sheep, corn has become an animal! Thus we have a fun new meat called "cold corn meat." Our new dish promises to chill you to the bone in the hot summer months. We'll throw in some old stowed beans we had forgotten about and mix them with the richest cattle we can find. Served with our flour tortillas towed in from Mexico. (Price depends on how rich the cattle are.)

Stuped baked potatoes Mesh potatoes with bacon skin served with mini salad

You'll never have an intelligent potato here! We make sure they have no brains left after we boil them and send them through mesh. Then we send our chefs out to the pig farm to cut off some pig skin. Includes a small salad.

Wel Come to Skegs! Skegs offers free parking -- Costumers Only

Contact Amy Chavez by e-mail at amychavez@excite.com To subscribe to "Japan Lite" for free, go to www.amychavez.com


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