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Saturday, June 9, 2001


Variety adds spice to bland English lessons

Tired of teaching the same old English lessons? Tired of drilling students on the same old topics: their hobbies, the weather and food? And getting the same old answers such as, "My hobbies are reading and listening to music"? Do you keep holding out for a truly unique self-introduction?

Don't despair! Try these teaching approaches to spice up your English classes.

* The Vocabulary-enhanced English Lesson -- covers name, age and hobbies:

Student A: What's your moniker? Student B: I'm Giorgio. A pleasure to make your acquaintance. A: Pleased to have you in my company. How many years have you been in existence? B: I am an octogenarian and have graced the earth for a good many years. A: What do you do for fulfillment? B: My hobbies are exiguous, but I am passionate about truffles. I pine for truffles and make prodigious efforts to consume them. A: How titillating! B: I also like sleeping, but I tend to be ambulatory when I do so. Pray tell, what are your predilections? A: No need for rumination here -- I delight in perusing good literature. I am a bardolater. B: Ah, Shakespeare! A: I also enjoy taking in music through my aural cavities. B: Do you crave SMAP? A: Just last week I saw them in the flesh. B: Were they absolutely smashing? A: Indeed, in every way.

* The Shakespearean English Lesson -- covers the weather and food:

Student A: How art thou? Student B: Flashes of merriment. How is it with you? Alas, how is't with you? A: The air bites shrewdly. B: Yes, 'tis a nipping and an eager air. A: Whither goes my lord? B: To eat. If thou hast the time, I'll request your presence A: Very much obliged. B: Where shall we dine? A: As is your fancy, my lord. B: Would truffles please thee? A: Indeed, upon my sword, indeed. But alas! 'twould not please my stomach for I am allergic to truffles. A: Allergic to truffles? You, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy, are allergic to truffles? Then, get thee gone! B: Goodbye you. Fare you well.

* The English of the American South Lesson -- covers "What are you doing?" and invitations:

Student A: Howdy pardner. Watcha doin'? Student B: Stayin' one step ahead of the law. An' you? A: Lordy, lordy, I'm fixin' to get me down to Skeeter's place to see his new huntin' gun. We's goin' huntin' and campin' this weekend. Wanna join us? B: I ain't got the gumption to go campin' no more. A: C'mon Bubba, there's gonna be purty rabbits and pheasants galore. C'mon down just for a little moonshine this evenin.' B: Nah, I'm fixin' to hit the hay soon. Gotta find my old lady. A: Where she done gone? B: Somewheres out on the back forty, I reckon. A: Ya oughta get her one of them new-fangled cellular tellyphones. B: Yessiree. A: By golly, I'd better get goin'. Don't wanna be late to Skeeter's. B: Thank ya much for the invitation Bubba. 'Preciate it. A: It's gonna be a swell time. I'll see ya'll tomorra. B: Take care now, ya hear? A: Shore will.

* The Rap Style Self-Introduction Lesson:

I'm the high-plains drifter, the best that you can get. I'm a b-boy from A-Town. I like to sit back and let the Alpine blast. Put me on some of that old gangsta music. Aight.

I mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade. It's straight-up boo-yaa.

Cash flow gettin low so I had to pull a job. Ay yo trip. Tryin to live right right. With the law after me.

I like rollin down the street, sippin on gin and juice, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

As I take me a drink to the middle of the street. In the future, I'm comin, I'm comin, I'm comin, I'm comin. Bullets, hummin, devils, runnin.

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